As someone that has really terrible anxiety, today I'm going to do something to face that problem. I'm already used to shopping on my own but I've never eat at a restaurant nor watch a movie alone. Because I'm constantly thinking about other people looking at me and it makes me so damn uncomfortable. lol Just thinking about it already sets some butterflies in my stomach, am not even exaggerating.
and I just realized that today is valentines day, where all the couples roamed around malls. this is going to either be the most awkward day in my life or it could also be a good day depending on how I react to it. I might even go back to the office early if I can't handle this.
8:40 am: I have cancel all my work plans, got my permission and literally decide to spend few hours with myself today. I plan to watch movie Marvel's Black Panther, get coffee latte, juice boost or green tea because I've been craving those for the longest time and the probably eat sushi today (if I have enough time)
I'm predicting that I'm going to end up having my earphones stuck to my ear the whole day today, except when I'm watching movie lol, Wish me luck because I already feel like crying and vomiting and I haven't even start.
10.48 am: I was hoping that they aren't alot of people today at the cinema, at least when I bought my seat, beside me were empty. I was praying hard it would be empty but omg people kept coming in, I was screaming inside lol it was so awkward. Beside me were both men, one was with his children and another came in alone just like me, but he sat at the end seat, leaving a gap. I swear if he sat beside me I would have been frozen still there lololol. Even then I chewed on chewing gum the whole time then ate popcorn in silent, unable to react as much.
Thankfully Marvel's movie never disappoint so I'm glad the movie was good to watch. It was full with morals and cultural values. Plus, I enjoy looking at beautiful sculptured marvel heroes *wink wink hahaha Avengers is next on my list and I can only think of Loki, that man..heehee oh and Dr. Strange :*
1.35 pm: I walked out of the cinema at a really fast pace. It's because I was on my own and I don't even make eye contact with anyone (already expected) If only I had a little bit more money I would have bought a new hoodie I've been eyeing few weeks back ishh
The movie took a longer time that I've expected. It started around 11am and ended at 1.20pm. I only had less than 40 minutes spare because I need to take the train back around 2pm. So knowing that I'm unable to eat sushi in peace, I cancelled that plan and head over to juice boost and bought my favorite juice which is skinny dip then sprinted straight to Fitness Concept.
Why? Because I was looking at their dumbbells and I've been wanting to buy a set since I quit gym few weeks back. I needed to start strength training soon because I've postponed that for too long. I was too occupied with cardio. God I am even missing out on yoga these days, my bones are going to hate me for this. I should just reschedule my workout plans again. But knowing I had the right tools feels nice. I have new things to experiment with. I walked back to the train station carrying a dumbell in one hand, another in my bag and I have never felt so safe hahaha!
and that would be it for now on this totally random story. until the next time, if I had more stuff to rant about, that is. bye
10.48 am: I was hoping that they aren't alot of people today at the cinema, at least when I bought my seat, beside me were empty. I was praying hard it would be empty but omg people kept coming in, I was screaming inside lol it was so awkward. Beside me were both men, one was with his children and another came in alone just like me, but he sat at the end seat, leaving a gap. I swear if he sat beside me I would have been frozen still there lololol. Even then I chewed on chewing gum the whole time then ate popcorn in silent, unable to react as much.
Thankfully Marvel's movie never disappoint so I'm glad the movie was good to watch. It was full with morals and cultural values. Plus, I enjoy looking at beautiful sculptured marvel heroes *wink wink hahaha Avengers is next on my list and I can only think of Loki, that man..heehee oh and Dr. Strange :*
marry me
1.35 pm: I walked out of the cinema at a really fast pace. It's because I was on my own and I don't even make eye contact with anyone (already expected) If only I had a little bit more money I would have bought a new hoodie I've been eyeing few weeks back ishh
The movie took a longer time that I've expected. It started around 11am and ended at 1.20pm. I only had less than 40 minutes spare because I need to take the train back around 2pm. So knowing that I'm unable to eat sushi in peace, I cancelled that plan and head over to juice boost and bought my favorite juice which is skinny dip then sprinted straight to Fitness Concept.
Why? Because I was looking at their dumbbells and I've been wanting to buy a set since I quit gym few weeks back. I needed to start strength training soon because I've postponed that for too long. I was too occupied with cardio. God I am even missing out on yoga these days, my bones are going to hate me for this. I should just reschedule my workout plans again. But knowing I had the right tools feels nice. I have new things to experiment with. I walked back to the train station carrying a dumbell in one hand, another in my bag and I have never felt so safe hahaha!
and that would be it for now on this totally random story. until the next time, if I had more stuff to rant about, that is. bye
wore all black for today, suits my soul lmao
