So yesterday, I was on my way home when the boredom of traffic congestion made me and my mom talked about relationships and stuff. It was a little awkward for me because there are things that I've bottled up and I refused to opened it. But I got really comfortable so fuck it. I told her about the most of the things that happened in 2011. The boy, the school, the depression, the sleepless nights and etc. Turns out, the reaction was better than what I've expected. I thought she was going to be mad but she didn't get angry at all. I was relieved. I guessed somehow I made her feel a little bad yesterday because she told me that I've always looked happy. She never knew that I cried for so many nights for the last 2 years I've stayed in the old house and she finally knew the reason why I dislike being there. This morning, she told me not to keep any more secrets from her. She said that she didn't want her daughter to bear all this alone because apparently, it can make me crazy. guess what. I already am crazy.
I'm so sorry for hiding things from you. It's just that you know how things are handled in the house. I was scared and I didn't want dad to find out. Tho I am pretty sure he already know about it by now because you told him. haha. Anyway, I felt a little bit at ease now, at least someone in my family knew my problems and stands by me instead of against me. But I can't promise to reveal everything I'm going through in life after this. I'll be fine bearing the weight on my own. I've been doing it for the more than 3 years now. but I promise to share when I needed your guidance okay mom?
that is it for now. goodnight.
