currently ? i don't know what is going on with me anymore. sometimes i'm okay, other times i'm just fucking messed up. I'm lost, confused and all I want now is an escape..like seriously someone should really give me a free ticket to overseas (yeah like that is going to happened, haha) Sometimes i felt like, if i could erase my memory, i totally would want to erase everything and start over. lol the only really bad thing that i had experienced in my life is the boy that i like doesn't like me back, he left and he never looked back. that experience was painful because no matter what i do, i can't get over him. the main reason why i felt erasing my memory would be a good choice but there is too much good memory is at stake and i wouldn't want to risk losing them. Then again, when i felt really upset about something, i will always, always think about erasing my memory and wanting to start over my life. what the hell is wrong with me? haha.
One time, I wished that if i could turn back time to a certain point of my life, i would totally change the situation so that in the future, i would have a different situation, but we all know that's not going to happened, lol. so stop dreaming about it haha.
Other times, I blamed myself for growing up to fast, sorry "wanting to grow up fast" because when I was little, i thought being an adult is so cool because you can own a car, a house, get married, have job and etc. when i was little, i didn't know that all to get those things in life you need to have cash and lots and lots of cash because later on when you turn entered adulthood, you have to carry alot of responsibilities such as figuring out how to save money for you and or family, how are you going to pay your bills, how to manage your life better, how to be a better or quality worker, how to take care of your family (if you're married) and etc gosh, I don't know how do my parent and parents all over the world could managed this, big round of applause for them. like seriously. treat your parents right. you don't know how much they've sacrifice trying to raise you and your sibling until you've seen it for yourself. just thinking about this scares the hell out of me because i don't know what i'm going to be like in the future, haha
lol i've realized that i got carried away while typing this post..to be honest there is alot of things that i want to rant about right now but i think i should stop now because i have to wake up early tomorrow;) goodnight.
