I've never done this kind of post before. well I actually did one which was called "one day". But that post is more like a wishlist. Yes i did strikethrough the things that I have achieve and the lists actually keeps adding up if you noticed. I did deleted few things on the wishlist that I felt not that exciting anymore. I don't usually do wishes or resolutions during new years because i know that the first day of the new year, i'll ended up forgetting everything and continue my life as it is lol. But, since next year i'm going to be 20, I should just make this resolution worth it so that in few years, i can look back and say "I'm glad that I got through that".
I've learned, experienced and realized alot of things in my 20 years of living. The first would definitely be caring too much for someone will eventually get you screwed up. I've realized that I should only care of people that I trust deeply. At the same time, I've learned that I should be really careful with the people I trust because in a matter of seconds, the trust can be broken. Next, I realized that alot of people tend to "cling" to someone because the only wanted something from them but when they finally have it, they treat the person like they were invisible. Beware of these kind of humans. In addition to that, I've also finally realized that society standards here are insanely high. People will treat you differently if you fit to their standards. You may be denying it but deep down you know it's true.
Then, I've learned that there is no such things as a happily married couple. Marriage actually has lots of ups and downs that I didn't noticed before. No matter how long you've been married to someone, it will still have the possibilities of crumbling apart. I've watched way too many dramas that blinded me from that particular fact lol. Everytime I watched dramas, every romantic scene comes up, i'll said to myself that "it's bullshit, stop believing". It did lessen my affections to watched dramas these days. Another thing that I've learned that too many high hopes leads to too many disappointment. can't even remember how many times I cried when things doesn't go the way I wanted it too be. I still remember that awful feeling. yikes.
Next I've learned that some people just won't change no matter how many chances you give them. It sucks because you take this person back into your life just to get broken all over again. I have a 2 chance strike policies in my life and when someone broke the 2nd chance I gave them, its definitely goodbye. Finally, I've experienced relationship. I admit, it was nice but at the same time, its a freaking nightmare. Now I believed that being in love is just going slow me down because I am an emotional wrecked. Why? Because when I'm upset or when unwanted thoughts overloading my brain, I can't do any work and I get depressed. I don't want to be sad because of love anymore because it sucks, obviously and I'm wasting time on a person that doesn't want me. Gurl you're better than this. A good friend of mine taught me that in relationships I should never low my standards because I'm afraid I can't find something/someone better or what i had is already good enough. If that guy is a douche and he has burned his chances then there is nothing left for him to stay, right?
With all of that being written, my new years resolution is definitely to be a tougher girl both physical and emotional. The world is definitely a tough place to live in and I need to survived. It gets harder by day. Next, I don't want to be desperate for people that don't want me, insecure or depressed anymore. Another one would be is to control myself from falling in love too easily. get a grip Kuza, you're better than this. lol. Besides wanting to be a tough girl, I should also try to be healthier in 2015 lol. I'll make it happen. That is it for my new year's resolution post. Happy New Year Everyone.
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”
