Hi (*que awkward waving gesture) pt 1

It has been 4 years (almost?) since my last post hahahaha I feel so embarrassed trying to write this because I was gone for soo long this felt so awkward. Even if I knew no one ( that I knew of) actually read the things I wrote here but still wtf hahahaha should I just stop? 

Does anyone still uses blogspot btw? 😂😂😂

anyway...I got married (2021) to the same guy I fell inlove with in 2018 and I am now (to my surprise) a mother to a beautiful baby girl (2022). Trust me, I still can't believe I actually became a wife and a mom (especially the mom part hahaha). At this point number 9/September really holds a special place is my heart. 

• I was born on the 9th January 1995
• Met my ex-boyfriend (current husband) for the first time 
• Ex-boyfriend went to Japan on the 14th of September 2018, came back to Msia on the exact date next year
• My baby girl was born on the 16th of September 2022

Would've been more wonderful if my nikah was in September (I was hoping for 9/9/2021) as well but unfortunately xde rezeki hahaha. I got married in October 2021, it was in the midst of PKP so didn't actually have a choice because everything was just so hectic and strict back then. I got married in Pejabat Agama weh hahaha, mcm buat salah pulak rase time tu😂😂😂 I was very grateful tho, we had a simple intimate wedding like I've always wanted.

A few months later, I found out I was pregnant a few days before my honeymoon adoiiii. We were stoked that Allah swt gave us this amanah quite early in our marriage,  Alhamdulillah. Because from the very beginning.. since I knew I'm getting married I was very worried if I couldn't conceive.. not that I have any health problem Alhamdulillah. It was just me.. overthinking as per usual. 

and that's about it for now? I might do a part 2, whenever that might be because these days my life is just fully occupied with being a housewife/working at home mom fuhhh. This is nice, by doing this I actually feel like I'm in my early-mid 20's again. A feeling that I've almost forgotten hahahaha still can't believe this girl is entering 3 series next year. 

till next time, Insyaallah

09.09.2018

 

despite all the ups and downs,

all the fights, 

all the tears,

we had plenty of happy days,

and we still do.

thank you for being my source of strength,

thank you for inspiring me to never give up,

thank you for all the motivation talks,

thank you for being the human guidance that i've always wanted,

and thank you for never giving up on me. 

i have loved you then,

732 days later,

i still love you now,

and i want to keep loving for as long as i can.

happy 2 years anniversary abg ❤️

Hwang Yong-Sik

I haven't written anything Kdrama related for a while now but this time, I can't resist.

I have an immensely huge crush on Kang Ha Neul. Yes. Even my mom approves him hahaha. Out of all his drama characters, I feel like this is by far the best one yet. I have not fallen for a KDrama character in a really long time ever since I started seeing someone hahahaha. But Hwang Yong Sik have caught my attention and I haven't finished watching the drama yet. I just feel the need to rant my feels towards this guy.

anyone else's preference might be different but honestly to me

Everyone deserves someone like Hwang Yong Sik.

Everything that he does is just at the right amount. He's clingy but not obsessive. He's very supportive, He's protective and caring. He doesn't try to change Dongbaek, he just stood by her side and be her strength when she needed. I love the fact that he is straightforward, he know what he wants and he doesn't hold back. He doesn't force Dongbaek to accept him, instead he waits until she's ready. He listens well and he doesn't judge. He's stern only when needed. He always know the right things to say/do. His actions matched with his words. I love seeing how Dongbaek changed so much throughout the drama. It might not be completely because of him but he's presence in her life has made a good impact on her. the kind of healthy relationship I strive for. 

Do you feel me? 

i really hope this drama doesn't break my heart..

also this might be the first Kdrama I've watched where the hero and heroin are at the same status. By same status I meant non of them are Chaebol (rich as fck, heir to throne etc). Both of them work hard to earn a living. It's nice to watch something that I can have some hope to relate to hahaha. 

Pintaku

Kerana sesungguhnya Engkau yang Maha mengetahui apa yang terbaik bagi setiap hamba-Mu di muka bumi ini Ya Allah. Aku mohon Ya Allah, kurniakanlah aku kekuatan dan petunjuk agar aku dapat menerima dan redha akan pilihan yang kau tetapkan buat diriku. 

Aku berserah segalanya kepada-Mu Ya Allah. 

isi malam

Segembira mana pun dia.

Walau sekerap mana kau melihat dia tersenyum,

Isi hatinya tuhan saja yang tahu,

Dihiris halus berdarah dalam sepi.

Dalam kegelapan menangis sendiri,

Bergantung atas harapan yang tidak pasti.

Masih,

Dia pilih untuk berdiam diri.

Dia pilih untuk terima.

Dia pilih untuk faham.

Dia pilih untuk bertahan,

Selagi mampu katanya. 

Benar kata kau,

Dia gila.

#25 RMO/PKP Thoughts (#StayAtHome #KitaJagaKita)

Here's the thing, I love spending time at home. I love having my own space for me to just rest my head and do my own thing. Kalau dulu weekend mmg aku jarang sgt keluar rumah unless kalau ade important things yg aku nk buat. How many days since this RMO begins? I have officially lost count😂 tapi pretty sure sekarang dh fasa kedua extend until the 28th April 2020. People are saying RMO ni akn  extend kemungkinan smpai raya (hopefully xkan lebih dri tu la) Alot of people are struggling because of this, aku xleh imagine if this extends lebih dri tu.. cmne org nk cari makan.. aku terlari topik pulak hehe

Anyways smbung, awl2 dulu aku ingt I would be fine je kalau aku duk rumah lama2. Yela, aku dh biasa kan? Hah I was wrong, turns out aku cuma spending weekends je kt rumah😂 Pishang gak weh hari2 duk rumah rupanya. Sampai tahap aku rindu nak pergi kerja dh ni. These days hari2 nk kena fikir ape yg aku nk buat kt rumah, I can't just sleep all day.. kalau x malam nnti aku susah tido and bila aku susah tido.. fikiran aku melayang and susah yg amat nk stop.. and aku mne boleh nak spend bnyak masa cmni tgk kdrama, sbb aku jenis yg tgk kena ade mood.. xde mood xjalan😂 

Hati aku memberontak nak keluar rumah, nak jalan2, nak gi jumpa kawan, nk gi window shopping balik. Pergi keluar panaskan enjin kete pun aku excited gila😂 Ape yg menghalang aku dri x buat semua tu? 1st ofcoz sbb denda kalau kantoi buat perangai tu mahal, aku x mampu😂😂 

2nd and yg paling penting, there are people kt luar sana yg tgh bekerja untuk cuba kawal situasi covid ni. Kalau aku.. kalau kita x bgi kerjasama, kita akn ended up menyusahkan diorg and kita jugk. Dah la diorg kena kerja mse kita cuti, stress keje lagi, x dpt nk spend masa dgn org tersayang mcm kita ni, terpaksa berjauhan dgn family lgi. So bersabar la guys. Bagi la kerjasama. 

All we have to do is duduk rumah je kot. Keluar when needed je, itupun sorang je ye. Nak beli makann, mengidam ke ape, beli through online dh la.. abg grab, abg foodpanda & mcm2 abg ade boleh tolong. Use those apps, jgn jadi selfish. Jgn sbb kita, corona berterusan.. Also yg guna apps tu mohon bersabar ye, bukan kau sorang yg order kot wktu PKP ni. Kesian aku baca org2 yg delivery ade yg kena maki.. Diorg risking their lives out there, the least we can do is bersabar la aiyoo..and jangan laaa berkira dgn delivery charge.. aku terbaca ade org complaint dgn delivery charge RM3..are you kidding me.. RM3 je weh.. Diorg pun nk cari rezeki gak.. come on people.. Nak berkira pun biar bertempat..

Tak lama dh Ramadhan akn mula, bagi yg muslim.. dari sekarang we can use this time we have utk dekatkan diri kita dgn Allah swt. Jangan bgi alasan kita xde masa, we got plenty dh kan right now. Aku nk remind diri aku  gak sbnarnya ni😅  Jom perbaiki diri sama2 💞 Insyaallah even after Ramadhan ends pun, kita teruskan💪

• Perbaiki Solat
• Perbaiki Bacaan Al-Quran
• Belajar Buat Solat Sunat
• Hafal surah2 yg jarang dibaca
• Learn more about Islam (through podcast, videos etc)
• Read moree

Tu je kot for now, till the next time. Stay safe everyone. Stay Home!

What is Wrong

Every now and then,

What is wrong.. with showing that you care?

What is wrong.. with asking "are you okay?" to the person you said you loved?

What is wrong.. with being consistent with your efforts?

What is wrong.. with telling her that you genuinely miss her?

What is wrong.. with telling her that you appreciate her?

What is wrong.. with texting her first?

What is wrong.. with calling her first?

What is wrong.. with making her feel wanted?

What is so wrong.. with making some time for the person you love?

I get it, you're a busy person..

I get that, you've got so much to do..

I know that, you have so much to achieve..

but often times I felt left out..

I want the same energy that I gave in return..

I want the same happiness I felt the moment I fell inlove with you..

Was it all my fault that things ended up like this..

Was I asking too much..

Julia

Sebab aku masih ikutkan kata hati aku ni,

Aku masih lagi dekat sini..

Sebab aku sebut nama kau dalam doa aku,

Aku masih lagi dekat sini..

But you probably wouldn't know that.. right?

Even when I tried to explain as calmly as possible,

You still refusing to understand,

It's not just the words that meant the world to me,

It was the routine. 

#24 Thoughts

Imam al-Ghazali berpesan: "Carilah hatimu di tiga tempat. Temui hatimu sewaktu bangun membaca al-Quran. Tetapi jika tidak kau temui, carilah hatimu ketika mengerjakan solat. Jika tidak kau temui juga, carilah hatimu ketika duduk tafakur mengingati mati. Jika kau tidak temui juga, maka berdoalah kepada Allah, pinta hati yang baru kerana hakikatnya pada ketika itu kau tidak mempunyai hati."

Jadikan kematian itu sebagai peringatan dan hidayah. Andai masih tidak mahu berubah ke arah kebaikan, maka dengan cara apa lagi mahu Allah beri hidayah?

Doa Rasulullah saw yang paling banyak adalah: “Wahai Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkanlah hatiku di atas agama-Mu.” Riwayat Imam Ahmad dan al-Tirmizi

- Tulisan Ahmid Shazwan -

is it too late to wish happy new year?

January is not over yet,

Happy New Year!

&

Happy 25th Birthday Kuja!

tak mintak banyak, aku cuma doa semoga apa saja yang aku bakal usahakan/impikan untuk tahun 2020 ni tercapai, semoga tahun ni aku lebih menyayangi/menghargai diri aku sendiri dari tahun2 sebelum ni, semoga aku jadi lebih berani, semoga aku jadi lebih positif, semoga aku dan orang2 yang aku sayang sentiasa ada dengan aku, dikurniakan kesihatan tubuh badan yang baik & dipanjangkan usia serta sentiasa berada dalam lindungan-Nya Aamiinn.

I didn't exactly get to celebrate my birthday the way I want to again this year and if you asked me, honestly I am a little bit bumped out by it because I had hopes but..there's nothing I can do about it, I mean..I've tried..there's always next year..kan?

Anyway,

It's been like half a year and bloody hell aku lupa daratan since my last weight loss update. I don't exactly gain nor lost weight in the past 6-7 months. Okay who am I kidding, berat aku naik turun mcm roller coaster but in a range yg aku rse aku x terlajak naik...unfortunately x terlajak turun jugk..But sis is back with a new years resolution. I'm going to make sure I reached my target before Aidilfitri. I've purposely bought 2 piece of baju raya one size smaller than my actual size just so that I can use that as a motivation. Last year I did the same thing and it works, so why not try this again kan. If this works out well then there will be a continuation of Misi Kurus Kuja, lol.

Next, if I were to recap what my 2019 is like. Honestly I would like to erase some memories of it if I could. There's literally wayyyyyyyy tooooo muchhh crying involved last year. really awful bitter tears too. But despite the bitterness, ada jugak la yg manis..tpi knapa aku rse pahit lagi bnyak ahahahah..gurau.. 2019 was the year my mind was brutally challenged, I've learned and realized a lot of things about myself both things I love and things I hate. I've loved harder than I did in any previous relationships and knowing that scares me alot too. But I'm good; we're still good alhamdulillah. I'll write more when I have the chance. bye xx